


Teenage Dirtbag

by orphan_account



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Boarding School, Alternate Universe - High School, Boarding School, Comedy, F/M, Friendship, M/M, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-03
Updated: 2014-08-03
Packaged: 2018-02-11 14:37:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2071989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky Barnes learned three important things over the summer before his senior year:</p><p>                                             1. Drunken people and fire do not mix.<br/>                                             2. Fire extinguishers and parties do.<br/>                                             3. Never set fire to your parents’ house (there will be consequences).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Teenage Dirtbag

Bucky Barnes learned three important things over the summer before his senior year:

 

  1.      Drunken people and fire do not mix.
  2.      Fire extinguishers and parties do.
  3.      Never set fire to your parents’ house (there will be consequences).



 

He’d learned the third when they’d decided to ship him off to boarding school. Now, stood outside of South Marville Academy, he was kind of regretting throwing that party… and setting the bathroom on fire. Well, the bathroom incident wasn’t really his fault and he’d tried explaining that to both the fire brigade and his parents, but they didn’t seem to believe him.

Sometimes hairspray and cigarettes just weren’t a good mix, okay?

South Marville Academy for Boys (SMAB) looked like a movie set. Bucky could’ve sworn such a posh place didn’t exist in reality, but here it was in all its stone built glory with its perfectly mown grass and trimmed hedges and ridiculous lack of litter. Seriously, where was all the litter? Was this even a real High School? Bucky felt like he’d been sent to Hogwarts.

“This is medieval,” Bucky muttered as he watched his mom’s evil boyfriend – _‘His name is Alexander, be nice!’_ – haul his suitcases out of the trunk of the car.

Part of him wanted to stomp his feet like a three year old that didn’t get their way and scream about how unfair all of it was, although that would be pointless as the rest of him knew it was his fault he was here in the first place.

Really it had been all one big misunderstanding, only Bucky had had too many misunderstandings at this point, and therefore it was understandable that Bucky’s mother would be at the end of her tether. He’d gone behind her back and thrown a party she’d specifically said no too, that party had ended disastrously and—

_“Somebody could have been hurt, James!”_

This was of course true, but Bucky was pretty sick of hearing it. He’d tried to convince his mother that he knew he’d done wrong and he could fix it, he just needed time to figure it all out back home in Brooklyn, only he’d said that a million times before and he still hadn’t learned. So now he was about as far as he could get from Brooklyn in the US without his guitar or his friends or even his skateboard. What was he going to do?

“Ah, Winifred,” Bucky turned to see a young yet stern looking woman hurrying towards his mother. 

“Maria,” Mrs Barnes greeted with a warm smile.

Bucky scowled. Maria Hill was the Principle of SMAB and _extremely_ good friends with his mother. They’d grown up in the same neighbourhood in New York, and Bucky had spent his entire childhood watching the women giggle and talk about him as if he wasn’t there. This meant, to Bucky’s great annoyance, Miss Hill knew (or thought she did) exactly how to handle Bucky’s ‘outrageous’ and ‘attention seeking’ behaviour.

“How are you? It’s been so long!” Mrs Barnes was gushing. If there was one thing Bucky truly hated, it was when his mother gushed like a High School student on speed.

Winifred Barnes was the most infuriatingly professional person Bucky had ever come across until she was with old friends. She and Maria both were their brunette hair in tight buns and held themselves like royalty. The key, Winifred said, to success was always looking your best. She worked as a lawyer and often left on business (taking Alexander with her of course) and while it meant Bucky got the house to himself it also meant he was left to entertain himself. Which, as proven recently, was usually a bad idea.

“I’m great thank you, and you? What about James here?” Maria smiled at him, Bucky pretended not to see.

“I’m good. James is… you know,” Mrs Barnes shrugged. “We’ve been having a little, um… _trouble_ lately.”

If a little trouble was the adult translation for ‘my son’s friends set my house on fire’ then yeah, they’d been having a little trouble lately.

“Well I’m sure he’ll be no trouble here,” Even with Hill’s smile it sounded like a threat.

“I hope not,” Mrs Barnes replied firmly.

Bucky stared up at the bright Californian sky. It was so open and wide here, there were no buildings blocking the view and you could hear birds (as opposed to sirens) and it actually smelled _good_. It was all wrong.

 _Toto, I’ve a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore,_ Bucky thought to himself gravely.

He stared around as the women chatted. The grounds were bustling with excited boys getting ready for the first day back. A group of guys were throwing a football around on the grass while their parents (or at least who Bucky assumed were their parents) talked a few feet away. He spotted a couple of younger boys looking a little lost but excited as their parents stood reading maps with confused expressions on their faces. Bucky felt a little like those kids, only he was not at all excited to be there. He really hoped he wasn’t the only new senior, but knowing his luck he probably was.

He rubbed his left arm slightly (a nervous tick he refused to admit he had).

“Well James,” Bucky slowly turned his attention back to Miss Hill. “I’ll just find your guide and he can show you to your room.”

Guide? Oh God, Bucky was going to get stuck with some goody-two-shoes teacher’s pet for the next week. It was bad enough he was being forced to go to an all male school where he didn’t know anyone, but for the first guy he would meet to be some kind of suck up? That was just cruel.

There were a few seconds of silence while Bucky whined inwardly. Bucky had to conceal a yelp of surprise as his mother nudged him sharply in the ribs. Oh right, he was being spoken to.

“Yes ma’am,” He huffed. Just because he was at the school it didn’t mean he had to pretend he liked it.

“We tend to pair new students with their roommates as guides…” Miss Hill explained. “We find the boys find it easier to bond with the people they’ll be living with if they’ve spent some time together. Usually students get to know each other from the start of freshman year, but as you’re new to the seniors I understand it might be harder for you to adjust—“

Bucky watched as one of the guys on the grass – an enormous blonde haired jock by the looks of it - failed to catch the football and face-planted the ground. His friends around him gasped, and then broke into raucous laughter as he sat up grinning through a mouthful of mud.

“—But I think you might like your roommates. They’re nice boys.”

“Uh huh,” Great, he was rooming with boy scouts.

He ignored the look Miss Hill exchanged with his mother before she walked away. He could still hear her heels clicking against he stone of the school drive as she disappeared from sight.

Bucky turned around to see his mother and Alexander the gruesome watching him.

“What?” He snapped.

“James,” Mrs Barnes sighed wearily. “Please try to behave while you’re here. I know you didn’t really want to come—“

“No shit,” Bucky muttered, staring at his feet.

“Don’t talk to your mother like that,” Alexander said. Bucky looked up to direct his best defiant glare at the man. Bucky’s little sister Rebecca had always said if looks could kill Bucky would be a deadly weapon.

Mrs Barnes rubbed her temples. Right, as if this was _so_ stressful for her. She’s the one that wanted to send Bucky away; she started all of this, what gave her the right to act like it was some impossible task to handle her son.

“Please just be good,” If Bucky hadn’t known her all his life, he’d think his mother was pleading with him. Really she was just putting on a kicked puppy voice to guilt him into doing what she wanted. He’d know, he’d learned everything he knew about manipulation from Winifred Barnes. There was a reason she was so damn successful at her job.

Alexander pushed the two suitcases towards Bucky and handed him the duffel bag without much care. Bucky stumbled sideways as it was pushed at him, and glared extra hard at the man. Alexander returned the look with a cool look of indifference.

 _Dickhead,_ Bucky thought to himself rather childishly.

The adults waited until they saw Maria returned to say goodbye. Mrs Barnes dropped a light kiss on Bucky’s forehead before calling her farewell to Maria and climbing back into the car. Alexander didn’t even offer Bucky a smile, just a smug look that made the teenager feel like he was very much fighting a losing war.

Bucky turned away as they pulled out. He was determined not to watch them leave, no matter how childish that was, he would not give the evil grown ups the satisfaction. Instead he looked at the approaching principle and the boy she’d brought with her.

The Head Mistress smiled as the boy beside her talked. He was blonde, around Bucky’s age, and probably only a little taller than Bucky himself. It was hard to tell from a distance, but Bucky suspected the only reason Miss Hill even came close to the kid’s height were the lethal-looking stilettos on her feet. The guy was already in uniform, which would’ve made Bucky laugh except—

“Mr Barnes, this is our Head Boy Steve Rogers,” Oh no. He was hot.

Steve Rogers was six foot two of firm muscles, tousled blonde hair and ridiculously kind looking blue eyes that kind of made Bucky want to touch him and check if he was real. Were those arms or tree branches? This was a disaster; he was going to have to follow around the hottest teacher’s pet ever. Oh God he was so cute, even his nose was cute, his skin looked so soft it was almost—

“Mr Barnes?” Bucky snapped back to reality and looked at Miss Hill. She was giving him a strange look. He shut his gaping mouth quickly and dropped the hand he had half raised towards Steve. Steve looked mildly amused.

“Well I’m sure Steve can handle you by himself.”

 _I would be honoured to let Steve handle me_ , Bucky thought, as he looked the other boy up and down.

“Do you mind helping James out with his bags, Steve?” Miss Hill asked.

“Not at all ma’am,” Steve smiled. He was like sunshine in a human being. Bucky wasn’t going to last a day in this guy’s company.

“I’ll leave you to it then,” The Principle smiled and walked (clicked?) away.

 

 

~*~

 

 

Bucky trailed after Steve as he led him through the school. The corridors were all dark wood and thin red carpets with bookshelves dotted here and there. It felt like an old palace with its chandeliers and fancy old French windows. Bucky felt incredibly out of place as he looked around.

“A lot to take in, huh?” Steve glanced at him over his shoulder.

Once Miss Hill had left them in the courtyard Steve had turned to him and offered possibly the happiest smile Bucky had ever seen.

_“Steve,” He offered a hand to Bucky._

_“Bucky,” They shook._

_“Your parents named you Bucky?”_

_“Nah, it’s a nickname. Better than James any day.”_

Steve had insisted on carrying the two larger cases while Bucky shouldered his duffel bag and followed him. Bucky had the feeling that Steve had been keeping up a guide’s commentary on the school as they walked along, but he’d been too distracted from the lovely view of Steve’s behind to really pay attention.

“Kinda,” Bucky shrugged. He’d been trying to ignore the overwhelming urge to run away as they headed for the dorms. He could handle new places and new faces, but this was different. He couldn’t put on a cocky smile and charm himself out of trouble because he knew he’d be leaving soon, he was stuck there and he had no way to get home without a hell of a lot of problems standing in his way.

“You’ll get used to it, don’t worry,” Steve reassured him. “When I was new here I hated it. Kept begging Ma to let me come home. Turns out it isn’t so bad when you’ve got friends to watch your back.”

Bucky almost asked, but he didn’t. In his mind you had to be at least a level three friend to unlock tragic backstories and history.

There was a long struggle getting the cases up the stairs. The situation wasn’t helped by the way the stairwell was blocked up by _other_ struggling students with large trunks and suitcases.  Still, they got a bit of a laugh when one of the boy’s cases accidentally opened and exploded in a flurry of underwear and magazine pages the kid probably hadn’t intended to share.

Finally, after what Bucky was pretty sure had been almost an entire millennium (which may or may not be a hyperbole), they reached the landing and managed to drag the cases to the end. Steve explained that he’d arrived earlier in the morning with his stuff and had already had the chance to unpack.

“This is us,” The blonde puffed, stopping outside door 325. “Our room used to be on the ground floor.”

“How come it ch—“

“STEVE!” The door swung open so violently that both Steve and Bucky took a step back in surprise.

A crazed young man stood in the doorway, he looked as if he was vibrating... it was kind of terrifying.

“Jesus Tony, have you been hiding behind the door since I left?”

The Tony guy looked slightly guilty as he shrugged. He was almost a head shorter than Steve and had a shock of unruly black hair that looked as if it might have a life of it’s own. He looked as if he’d begun putting his uniform on and then given up halfway through with his ragged jeans and rumpled oxford shirt.

“It’s boring up here,” Tony complained as Steve pushed past him with Bucky’s bags.

Bucky hesitated before following him in. The look Tony gave him as he passed made him feel as if he was being pulled apart and inspected. He shuddered slightly.

At least the room was nice. If he was going to spend a year surrounded by rich kids and lacrosse sticks (he’d seen an awful lot of students carrying them) then at least he knew he had a comfy bed to come back to. Well, the beds looked comfy. There were four of them, two singles under the window on the far wall and a bunk bed hidden behind the door. The walls were light blue and matched the curtains, a bedside table sat between the two singles and a bright bulb covered with a blue shade hung from the ceiling. The carpet was a plush cream that Bucky decided he was going to sink his toes into the second he had a chance and, _oh thank fuck the entire world isn’t completely against me,_ a large built in closet was wide open across from the bunk bed.

“That’s your bed,” Steve pointed to one of the singles under the window. “Sorry, we all chose our bunks this morning.”

“No problem,” Bucky shrugged, crossing the room and dumping his bag on to the bed. It was a nice bed, bouncy, soft… yes; it would do nicely as an escape from the hell he’d recently entered.

Tony closed the door behind him. “So you’re the reason we had to switch rooms.”

“Uh… what?” Bucky said.

“You. You’re the reason we moved. We were perfectly fine just the three of us, but _no_ you had to come along and ruin it.”

“Play nice, Tony,” Steve sighed from where he sat on the lower bunk pulling off his shoes.

“Why should I?” Tony pouted and folded his arms.

“Because he’s new,” A voice came from the corner of the room.

A boy and a desk Bucky hadn’t noticed before were hidden in the corner that the bunk bed left free. The kid was small and timid looking with dark curls falling in his eyes and a thick-rimmed pair of glasses slipping half way down his nose. He looked harmless, but his tone sound like that of a father scolding his son.

“I’m Bruce,” The kid said, offering Bucky a smile. “Bruce Banner.”

“Bucky Barnes,” It was hard not to return the smile.

“I thought your name was James,” Tony said.

“Tony—“ Steve started.

“Bucky’s a nickname,” Bucky said coolly.

“Short for Buchanan?”

“Yeah I—wait how did you know that?”

Tony shifted guiltily, Steve groaned and Banner sighed.

“Please tell me you didn’t?” Steve asked.

“Didn’t what?” Bucky narrowed his eyes. He did not feel like spending a year stuck with weird roommates, and he was pretty sure unexplained behaviour and what appeared to be stalking could be classed as weird.

“I had to!” Tony threw his arms up. “We couldn’t just go in blind! What if he’d been a serial killer?”

“Pretty sure I’m not a serial killer…” Bucky said.

“Yes, but you did set your house on fire.”

“Tony!” Steve and Bruce reprimanded.

“How did you know that?” Okay. This was weird, this definitely qualified as weird. Bucky really wasn’t into weird. Well, the weird type of weird, some kinds of weird were all right… like freaky in bed weird. That was fine. This weird? Definitely not okay.

There was a moment of silence where the boys appeared to be trying to offer an acceptable explanation.

“Tony’s, uh, he’s very good at—“ Steve began.

“I hacked your student file,” Tony said.

"—computer stuff," Steve finished.

Bucky stared at him. Tony stared back. The sound of Steve slapping his palm against his forehead rang out in the room.

Bucky opened his mouth to speak, but before he could even form a coherent sentence the door swung open again and almost knocked Tony to his feet.

“Stark my friend!” A voice boomed. “My apologies.”

It was the enormous blonde jock that Bucky had watched accidentally eat the grass earlier. He steadied a staggering Tony.

“Thor buddy!” Tony grinned, turning around to greet the guy.

Thor? Thor. Someone actually named his or her child Thor. Oh dear God, this school was for lunatics.

“Steven! Bruce! Are you well?”

“Hey Thor,” Steve grinned. Banner waved over his shoulder.

Steve was so far proving to be the sanest here, or at least he was in Bucky’s eyes, which totally had nothing to do with the fact he was gorgeous. Definitely nothing to do with that.

“Who’s this?” Thor boomed, turning his wide smile on Bucky.

Bucky almost softened inside a bit. Thor looked a bit like an overgrown golden retriever puppy, only with more muscle… and a human body.

“This is Bucky,” Steve said.

“Ah, the man you sought to find so much information on!”

Bucky turned slowly to look at Steve. The other boy’s neck and ears had gone slightly red and he was staring at the ceiling as if it had some particularly interesting piece of artwork painted upon it.

Okay so maybe Steve was a little insane too, but Bucky was willing to forgive that because he’d carried his bags.

_Yeah, that’s the reason._

“Ha! I knew I wasn’t the only one,” Tony said smugly.

Thor must have seen the look on Bucky’s face because he turned to him with a serious expression of comfort on his face.

“Fear not, new friend! You are not a true boy of South Marville until your story has been told.”

“Uh…”

“What Thor’s trying to say,” Steve said. “Is that this has happened to all of us. You can’t really come here without everyone knowing everything about you.”

“That’s so creepy.”

They all looked at him. For a minute he worried he’d offended them, which was ridiculous because he didn’t need to _worry_ about offending _strangers_ that had pretty much stalked him.

The silence stretched on for another few seconds and then…

“Well at least now the ice is broken,” Tony shrugged. Thor laughed loudly, Steve chuckled and even Bruce smiled a little wider.

Bucky almost smiled before he caught himself.

“Bucky, this is Thor. He lives in the room across from us,” Steve said.

“The only upside to moving the room,” Tony huffed.

“Oh for Christ’s sake stop whining Tony, it’s a couple of stairs,” Steve sighed.

“I almost _died_ walking up those,” Tony complained dramatically.

“Sounds like you could use a work out,” The words slipped out before Bucky could stop them.

Steve and Thor laughed.

“Oh I like you,” Steve smiled at Bucky.

His stomach fluttered slightly as the boy looked at him. Bucky tried his hardest not to turn red, he felt like he’d turned into a twelve year old with a crush all of a sudden.

“Rude,” Tony muttered.

“C’mon,” Steve said. “Uniforms. We have dinner.”

“The way you talk you’d think you were Head Boy,” Tony said sarcastically. “Oh wait…”

“Shut up,” Steve replied, throwing a clean shirt at Tony.

Bucky watched them bicker for a few minutes before he began to pull his own uniform from his bag. For a few seconds it almost felt like being with his friends back home… _almost_.

 

 

~*~

 

 

The First Dinner Back (important enough to have capital letters you see) at SMA was always a chaotic affair. It was full of loud boisterous teenage boys swearing at each other in way of greeting and freshmen looking lost and confused as the older kids flooded the dining room.

Bucky glanced down at his uniform as they walked into the bustling food hall. It was regulation to wear pressed grey trousers, a white button up, a tie with the school emblem and an ugly blue blazer. It might’ve been his first day, but there was no way he was going to wear perfect uniform like Steve - even if Steve did pull it off perfectly. Bucky had traded the shiny black shoes for his old Doc Martens and refused to let Steve straighten his tie for him.

He hadn’t gone as far Tony seemed to in order to rebel. Tony was wearing old black jeans and sneakers and didn’t appear to even own a blazer.

“He burned it,” Bruce had said in way of explanation.

The hall was huge, though Bucky suspected it probably looked bigger when it was filled with smelly teenagers and exasperated faculty members. There were large tables filling the space with long benches to sit on.

 _Definitely Hogwarts,_ Bucky thought.

Three large crystal chandeliers hung from the high ceiling, lighting up the whole room, and the walls were lined with massive French windows (same as everywhere else in the school then).

Bucky pulled out his collar slightly to cool himself down. The windows were wide open, but it was still hot as hell. The room was almost claustrophobic with the amount of moving bodies milling around.

Bucky looked up as someone tugged on his sleeve.

“C’mon,” Steve said. “Let’s go find somewhere to sit. Follow Tony.”

Bucky looked over at where Steve pointed; Tony was making a fierce feat to move through the crowd, he was doing quite well actually. As they followed him people kept stopping Steve to say hello. Bucky noticed Steve mostly seemed happy to catch up briefly with people, but if they tried to keep him in a long conversation he got slightly uncomfortable. No one tried to speak to Bucky; they only gave him curious glances and raised their eyebrows at their friends.

When they’d finally managed to fight their way over to a space at one of the tables they found Tony lounging lazily on a bench across from another boy. The boy had dark blonde spikes of hair all over his head and sharp eyes that lit up when he saw Steve.

“Hey man,” He said, standing up and giving Steve a clap on the back as they hugged.

Bucky slid in between Bruce and Tony while Steve caught up with his friend. Polished silverware and large bowls of various foods had been lain out all over the tables. It looked too nice to use at a school.

As if reading his thoughts, Tony spoke up.

“They don’t always use these,” He said, picking up a silver plate and looking in it, fixing his hair as if he were using a mirror. “They just do it on special occasions. They usually use ceramic stuff. We have a count of how many plates get broken each year.”

“Why?” Bucky asked.

Tony shrugged. “So we can bet on it I guess. The guys here like to gamble. It’s the only interesting thing to do unless you know how to sneak out, and it’s not like you can do that every night, right?”

“Right,” Bucky nodded slowly.

Steve sat down across from Bucky and grinned.

“Bucky, this is Clint. Clint, Bucky,” Steve gestured between the two. “Clint shares a room with Thor.”

“Hi,” Clint said.

“Hey,” Bucky said.

Clint gave him a searching look.

“Is your last name Barnes?”

“Yeah… why?”

But Bucky didn’t get an answer. At the front of the Dining Hall Miss Hill stood up and rang a loud bell. Slowly the noise and chatter died down and everyone took a seat with their friends, waiting for the Head Mistress to speak.

“Welcome, everyone,” She said.

“Here we go,” Tony rolled his eyes.

“What a pleasure it is to have you all join us this year,” Miss Hill continued.

“This school has worked on three basic foundations for over fifty years now,” Tony mimicked in perfect time with the Principle.

“Friendship, education and pride,” Bucky was surprised to hear Steve join in with Tony’s mockery.

“We hope you’ll help to maintain those foundations throughout the next year,” Both boys grinned at each other as they spoke.

“For the new students we are gaining,” Clint joined in. “I hope this year is full of fun, adventure and growth for all. For our returning students I hope they are ready for another year of excitement and learning. And for our seniors I hope they are ready to work hard and prepare for their next steps in education.”

Bucky snickered. Steve grinned.

“And finally, for each and every one of you, I hope you have an incredible year and are ready to make the school proud.”

There were a few seconds of silence while Miss Hill stood looking proud of herself at the front, and then a small smattering of applause began. It died quickly. Tony appeared to wait for the most awkward moment of the near silence to whoop loudly and wolf-whistle at the teachers. The resounding laughter was louder than the applause.

“That’s enough, Mr Stark,” One of the men next to Miss Hill called.

Tony huffed and sunk back into his seat.

“Coulson’s such a mood killer,” He grumbled.

“He’s a hot mood killer,” Clint remarked.

“You’re gross,” Tony made a disgusted face at him.

“I don’t hear you disagreeing,” Clint sung quietly.

At the front Miss Hill continued to speak.

“I have several announcements for all of you before we eat. First off all is lacrosse try-outs begin next Wednesday, please see Brock Rumlow for further information. The rest of the sports trials begin next Friday at lunch on the playing fields. If you wish to—“

“Do you think they’ve cleaned this stuff since last Halloween?” Clint asked, poking a fork with suspicion.

“Probably not,” Tony shrugged.

“What happened last Halloween?” Bucky asked quietly.

“Halloween week is prank week,” Bruce said.

“It’s great,” Tony said.

“It’s not,” Steve looked disapproving.

“Oh shut up, you get locked in a closet _once_ and you start hating the best holiday ever.”

The boys around them sniggered. Bucky really wished he didn’t like it so much when Steve went red, but damn it made him look adorable.

“—Curfew for freshmen and sophomores is nine pm, ten-thirty for upperclassmen. The bleachers and pool are out of bounds after dark or unsupervised. Leaving campus without permission at _any time_ is not permitted—“

“Is it just me or did she look directly at me when she said that?” Tony asked.

“It’s not just you,” Bruce replied.

“—Please no cooking eggs in the janitor’s shed. We do not need a repeat of last year. And finally, if anyone is caught with contraband items it will mean immediate suspension. There’s a list of such items outside Mr Sitwell’s office. See him if you have any problems.”

“Can we eat yet?” Clint complained.

“Now that’s out of the way, dig in!”

Clint’s eyes lit up.

 

 

~*~

 

 

Bucky felt a strange sense of camaraderie with the rest of the boys as they trooped sluggishly towards their dorm. Dinner had been filling, like _really_ filling; he’d eaten almost his weight in mashed potatoes and steak. If the food was going to be like that every night maybe it wouldn’t be so bad, or maybe Bucky was just grateful to be away from his mother’s awful attempts at cooking.

Ending up with take out every night was not as fun as it might sound, even for a teenage boy. McDonald’s gets really boring after a while.

The four roommates stumbled into their room and flopped right on to their various beds… well except Tony. He just flopped on Steve rather than climbing to the top bunk. It wasn’t long before Clint and Thor trooped in to join them.

Before long they all managed to get up to change out of their uniform, and then Tony was forcing them to all sit in a circle on the floor like a bunch of ten year olds about to play spin the bottle. Bucky would’ve complained about moving, except Steve had dragged him off his bed to sit next to him and that was strangely satisfying in a way.

“Okay,” Tony said. “We have to initiate new boy if he’s gonna be on of us.”

“One of us, one of us!” Clint and Thor chanted.

“I don’t remember any of us getting initiated before,” Bruce pointed out.

“Yeah, but we were all new _together_ ,” Tony said as if it were obvious. Which, in all fairness it kind of was.

“You’re not gonna haze me, are you…?” Bucky asked. He was a fast runner, he could get away if he needed to.

“Nah, nothing like that just yet,” The yet part of the sentence was what worried Bucky.

“You will be our brother in arms!” Thor boomed. He did a lot of booming, Bucky had noticed.

“I didn’t know we were fighting a war,” Bucky commented.

“Boarding school is the breeding ground of war,” Tony said dramatically. Steve rolled his eyes.

Without any of them noticing Tony had produced a monster-sized bottle of coke from seemingly nowhere.

“Where were you keeping that?” Clint asked.

Tony tapped his nose. “That’s for me to know and for me to know.”

“That doesn’t make any sense.”

“Shut up, Barton.”

Clint huffed, but stayed silent. Tony shoved the bottle at Bucky.

“Drink this.”

“What?”

“Drink it.”

“All of it?”

“Yeah.”

“Right now?”

“Uh huh,” Tony nodded enthusiastically.

Bucky looked to Steve for help, but all he did was grin and shrug.

“I’d help you out but I kinda wanna see what happens.”

“Traitor,” Bucky sighed and picked up the bottle, unscrewing it carefully. He was going to need to pee so bad after this. Tony and Clint cheered.

“This is such a terrible idea,” Bruce said, leaning in with a look of excited fascination on his face.

“Yeah, I can tell you really mean that,” Bucky replied drily.

He looked at the bottle and took a deep breath. Well boarding school was going to kill him anyway, so why not drown himself with coke and get it over with?

_Here goes._

And he began to drink.

“Chug, chug, chug!” The boys chanted around him.

It was not pleasant. There was a lot of swallowing and bubbles were filling his throat and nose, but Bucky could see Tony’s challenging face over the bottle.

If he didn’t stop soon he was actually going to puke.

To puke or not to puke, that was the question?

Puking in front of Steve really wasn’t an appealing idea, but at the same time puking _on_ Tony sounded like a really appealing idea. Bucky was conflicted.

Luckily he was saved from having to make a decision by a body suddenly tumbling through the window. There was a lot of commotion and Bucky was suddenly choking on the coke as Steve hit him hard on the back and they all stared at their new guests.

Slowly, the girl climbed to her feet and brushed herself off.

“I definitely preferred it when you had the ground floor window,” She said.

They all stared for a moment. It was Thor that broke the silence.

“Darcy! It has been long since I have had the blessing of seeing your face!”

“Hey Thor,” Window girl – Darcy apparently- grinned. She danced forward and sat down with them.

“Are the others with you?” Clint asked. Bucky stared at them.

“What, I don’t even get a hello? But yeah, they’re coming up now.”

Just as she said it another girl climbed through the window. She was tiny and looked mildly harassed as she hopped into the room, greeting them all with a quick “Hey guys!” before leaning out the window to help someone else.

“Jane!” Thor greeted cheerfully. The boys all seemed to snap out of their surprised states at the same time, except Bucky, and there was suddenly a lot of commotion. Steve kept shushing them and telling them to keep their voices down, but they were all up on their feet (apart from Tony who had resigned himself to grinning at the chaos from his place across from Bucky)

“Yeah, hey… some help please?” A voice from the window called.

Steve and Thor leaned out the window. The girl they pulled through up had sleek strawberry blonde and looked like she regretted every moment of the climb up the building. Bucky noticed the way Tony’s eyes lit up when he saw her, and would’ve teased him for it had he not been sat in shocked staring at the succession of girls climbing into their room.

When Strawberry Blonde was through she leaned out the window and called, “Hey, Nat. You guys need a hand up?”

A negative reply echoed up to the window.

“Of course they don’t,” She rolled her eyes and sat down with the rest of them. She looked around the room. “At least this room’s clean.”

“Not for long, knowing this lot,” The Darcy Girl commented. "Which is a shame. Steve tries so hard."

“Yeah,” Strawberry Blonde continued to scan the room until her eyes landed on Bucky. She stared at him for a minute. He stared back.

“Uh, hi?” He said.

“You’re new,” She said.

“Well, uh, not really. I’ve been alive for almost eighteen years now,” It came out snarkier than he’d intended.

“I like him,” Darcy laughed, “Sarcastic and cute. We should totally keep him.”

They’d all moved away from the window by the time the last two girls came clambering through. Maybe clambering wasn’t the right word… they were more gracefully than their friends before them. They climbed through together like professionals, landing lightly on the floor.

“We bring alcohol,” The first one said, a cute brunette with fifties styled hair piped up.

The second girl… holy shit. The second girl was his best friend.

“Nat?” Bucky said, staring at her.

“Hey,” She smirked back.

Natasha Romanov had been Bucky’s closest friend since they were five years old. She was a red haired spitfire of a girl who could kick your ass in a second and drink you under the table no matter how high your alcohol tolerance. She never hesitated to put Bucky in his place if he said something unacceptable and he only ever got to see her during the holidays. She went to boarding school too. Nat was the adopted daughter of Maria Hill. That’s how they knew each other, they bonded over the pain and suffering their parents brought them by forcing them to go to business socials.

And Bucky hadn't seen her in almost six months.

“What are you doing here?” He got up to hug her, she held him away.

“Uh uh, no way. You’re covered in… I really hoped that’s coke because it really does look like you’ve pissed yourself.”

 

“Hilarious,” Bucky said. “Seriously, what are you doing here?”

 

“Our Lady is only a ten minute walk away from here, dumbass,” She said. “Your roommates are my friends. How else would you get roomed with such awesome people?”

Our Lady of the Rosary was an all female boarding school, almost SMAB’s counterpart. It was famous for producing important public figures and some of the smartest women the country had ever seen.

“I told you they knew each other!” Clint whooped.

"Shut up, Barton," Natasha said as she dragged Bucky back down into the circle.

There were a couple of minutes of chatter while the group got settled. Clint was made to get up and check the Dorm Monitor wasn't around.

"I think we're safe for now," He told them.

“Then how about we all get caught up over a game of Never Have I Ever,” Darcy suggested, pulling a bottle of vodka out of her bag. There was a collective whoop from the circle.

“Do you guys really want to get drunk on a school night?” Bruce asked.

“Yes,” Tony said firmly. “It’s been a very stressful day, Banner.”

Bucky couldn’t agree more.

It didn’t take long for him to learn all the girl’s names. Jane was Thor’s girlfriend, Strawberry Blonde was called Pepper and Tony wished she was his girlfriend, Darcy was resident comedian (and the female version of Clint it appeared) and finally Fifties Girl was Peggy - remind Bucky never to piss her off. She was Steve’s best friend and a total firecracker, not in the insane way he’d be assured.

And by the end of the night when everything was slightly hazy and Bucky was draped across Natasha like a lazy cat he couldn’t help but think maybe things wouldn’t be so bad.

He’d survived his first day in the hellhole and… well it had actually been pretty great.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh... yeah I'll probably regret beginning this fic. Song of the chapter: Teenage Dirtbag (for obvious reasons).


End file.
